When Family Hurts You

A few months ago, there was a misunderstanding between several close family members. Of course when people get upset, things are said that are better left unsaid. Things that have been "swept under the rug" for years...the rug was finally ripped away and everything was exposed. All the hurt feelings, all the things people thought, etc. It was a huge fallout between those close family members.

Then, someone in that circle decided to take their opinion and views on the subject and share it with people that had no business in knowing everything that was going on at the time. Of course their opinions and views were made up of false statements, whether they realized they were lying or not. Their intent was to smear names. The people they shared their views with then decided to send ugly messages to the family members involved-to tell them how horrible they were, that they should rot in hell, that they were scum of the earth, the person called the family member several horrible names that I won't put here, told them they were a hypocrite, etc.  Where they had no business sticking their nose, they did. And when they did that...they burned bridges.

In the end, all that happened was a tearing apart of family. True colors were exposed. I saw the person that had their named wrongly smeared wonder why it happened. They were hurt by the lies that were spread, by the awful things that their extended family had to say about them...all because of someone wanting people to take their side. There are laws against defamation of character-people get sued for doing exactly what this person/these persons did. It's just wrong and dirty and downright evil.

Each person in the close family has their opinion as to whether what they said was right or wrong during the initial misunderstanding. However, when lies are spread, that's a different story. I know that things will never be the same. I know apologies between some of the very close family members, where the first misunderstanding took place, were said.



We've all been hurt by family. Most times, we can look past what was said or done, but other times you can not. Trying to smear a name or a person's character only shows your true colors; it shows who you really are. I pray that my children are  1)never the person that tries to use their tongues to make themselves look better than others  2)never hurt by a family member to the extent that they choose to cut off all ties with them.

I Shall Never Complain Again...

 I shall never complain again about a grocery store not having the exact flavor or size of something I want after moving here. This is has to be one of the smallest commissaries in the world, except for Ft. Greely, Alaska, which pretty much doesn't exist.. I telling you. Our commissary is tiny.

Above is a picture of the commissary, all 3 rows of it. The aisles are very short too. There is not much here. It does cater to single/geographical bachelors since most service members on our base don't have a kitchen in their barracks and are on rations. There is a slim selection of everything, except for energy drinks, fresh fruit, cokes, chips and deodorant for men. 

Veggie selection, with potatoes and onions on a separate shelf.

The commissary is closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so we have to plan accordingly. 

The fresh fruit selection consists mostly of apples, with a few oranges and (sometimes) grapes. 

The largest Army base here in South Korea is just an hour away (when there's no traffic), so we will make a monthly shopping trip to get most items that we need. 

The meat section (notice the cookies up on the top shelf and sushi on the shelf below that.

They don't carry honey mustard dressing!

One thing we don't have to worry about is milk. We can get a half-gallon carton of ultra-homogenized milk for about $2.70 per gallon. It's strange seeing milk that has a sell-by date of sometimes more than 6 weeks away, but it's how we get milk here. I bought a carton 2 weeks ago that is good through June 12. Sweet! No wasting milk ever before it goes bad!

Diapers are a problem here. Sometimes they have Naomi's size, sometimes not. With them being closed 2 days a week, we try to make sure we never get close to running out and if they don't have the size we need... :-O

The smallest selection of spices I've ever seen.

Here is the baking section. Only one type of muffin mix!

Our bread selection. It's not bad at all. We can get what we need, including bagels and pitas!

So, we do have a tiny commissary, but I'm thankful for it. A few years ago, there wasn't a commissary here, but with more families in this area now there was a need. We get what we need for the week, although our menu is very limited unless we go to the big commissary, but that's okay. We have a commissary and I'll never again complain about a "normal" grocery story...or the price of milk. Ever.

I'm Still Here...and I Still Don't Like Kimchi!

So I know it's been a while since I blogged. Life has been crazy! We moved, stayed in a hotel for nearly a month, got a place and moved in, Chris has been busy with work, home schooling is still going on, the house needs tending too, blah blah blah...

I hope to get back to blogging on a regular basis. I have so many posts I want to do and to be honest, it's been so overwhelming thinking about all of them and I thought about throwing in the towel and not doing the blog thing anymore, but I am not a quitter! I will go on! ;-)

One thing that we haven't figured out just yet in our neighborhood is where to get good Korean food. We came from a busy area and now we live in a little neighborhood. Sure, if we got out and drove around we would find Korean food, but one great thing about living in Korea is that they have all these small little restaurants in the neighborhood for the people and they don't have to get out and drive. We know there is a place around that has what we really like, but we just haven't found it yet. Besides, Chris is really the only one that loves Korean food!

One thing Chris loves is kimchi. One thing I hate is kimchi, but Chris loves this stuff. It's just something you either like or don't. Koreans live off of this stuff. They have it at every meal. They even have it for breakfast. It's a staple. I was told by a Korean that there are over 100 types of kimchi she eats and she loves every single one of them. There is hope that perhaps I might find one I like, I guess.

But this ain't it. The smell is one thing I can't stand. I just feel sick to my stomach by the smell. Then, there is the sight. Let's be honest, sight does play a role in what we enjoy. You never see a restaurant that goes out and just throws your food on the plate, right? I don't care how you hard you try, kimchi will never look appetizing to me. Then there is texture. I have textural issues when it comes to most foods. Anything slimy is a no-go. Anything really chewy (other than taffy) is something else you can knock off my list. I've tried a few types of kimchi and each one was either slimy or chewy. I felt sick for hours after trying each one.

Chris LOVES this Korean dish, which is called Bibimbap. It is his all-time favorite. I don't eat anything with eggs, so it is an automatic turnoff. I don't like onion either, nor bean sprouts or 75% of any other vegetable, which is what this dish is. I don't mind the very crispy and salty seaweed that's on top (called gim) and I like rice. I know it's a healthy dish, but I just can't stomach it.

So, we're still on the hunt for a Korean place that has food "to-go" so that Chris can pick up his Korean and the kids and I can eat a 'samich or cereal when he wants it. Not liking kimchi is one reason I am afraid to go out and eat at a sit-down place here. I don't want to come across as being rude when I refuse to try their food. That would be like somebody going over to my grandmother's house and turning their nose up to her cornbread and dumplings and fried chicken and Lima beans.

So while we're trying to embrace the culture, for the 8 months we've been in Korea I just haven't found "that" Korean dish that I couldn't live without. I do like manduguk, which was my first Korean food when we got to Korea. Our realtor at the time ordered a meal for us and that is what she got me. It's a broth soup with mandu. Speaking of mandu, I do like yaki mandu (basically a fried dumpling with meat or tofu and a few veggies). It's good. Bulgogi is another food we like; we ate it a lot before even coming to Korea. It's just marinated beef on rice. Yummy. The kids and Chris really love hotteok, which seems to be very popular in the winter months and it is tasty, but oily. It's pretty much a fried pancake with sugar, cinnamon and peanuts inside. But my favorite so far is tteokbokki, which is rice cakes (think short, thick spaghetti noodles, thick as your pinky) in a spicy broth. It is SO good. I love the spiciness of it, but I don't care for the fish taste that is in the broth. Some places pour the fish broth over the noodles to keep them wet throughout the day (it's a street food, so it's usually sitting around awhile), which grosses me out. We found a place in Uijeongbu that made tteokbokki fresh to order and it was so, so good. We haven't found a place that does it here without pouring fish broth all over it, which is an overwhelming taste that I don't care for. I know we'll find some I like, or else next time we head up to Uijeongbu, we'll get some there.

Hopefully I can get some pictures of the Korean foods that I listed as we find places here that make them. Still, nothing compares to some good cooking that MoMo makes. I love and miss my southern food!

Staying Busy with the Move

Do you see Chris and Levi Paul? I took this from our apartment window (we live on the 20th floor). They went across the street to buy bread from the cafe. Levi Paul has a black hat on his head and Chris is wearing that orange/gray coat.

It's been a while since I posted. Chris was busy at work, working crazy hours in the middle of the night. Then, we got word that we would be moving. Long story short, Chris still does not have his orders...and we're suppose to have movers here later this week! It's rather crazy.

So, we are moving to a small area of 1 million people, which is about the same size as the city we live in now. We will be so close to Seoul that it's considered Seoul to those that have no clue about the different areas. Kinda like how Atlanta has all these smaller areas around it that are considered Atlanta too, even though they aren't ( like Marietta, Peach Tree City, Dunwoody and the other 143 towns/cities that are considered part of the metropolitan area of ATL.)  So, we will technically be part of the Seoul "Capital Area" with the rest of the 25.6 million people. (Doesn't that sound nuts?! I've never been anywhere as large as Seoul. I'm a small-town Southern girl from a town of less than 5,000 people.)

So, things have been nuts. We are excited to start our adventure in our new place. We have no apartment yet (can't do that until we move and nothing is open yet), yet I will be trying to handle my 3 blessings and teaching Miriam during this move. I know we can handle it. We moved all the way to the other side of the world in the fall and we survived that trip. Surely we can survive a move that is just 21 miles away!

When I Look Into Your Eyes

As a parent, I do think one of the most beautiful things I see in my children when I look at their physical appearance is their eyes. Each of them have their own looks, but all three of them share blue eyes. Beautiful, blue eyes.

Miriam's blue eyes

I remember when Miriam was born and I saw her eyes. I was so excited to see that she had gotten my eye color. That is something that all 3 kids share from me. Blue eyes only run in my family, not their daddy's family. Miriam's eyes seem to be the bluest of our children. I love her eyes. With her fair skin, her beautiful blue eyes just seem to say so much when you look at them.

 

Levi Paul's gray-blue eyes

It's amazing how the eyes are the one thing that can connect us to others, even if we don't speak the same language. Think about it: when we talk to people, we look into their eyes. When you first look at somebody, you look at their eyes. The Koreans love to see blue eyes, especially in children. Levi Paul's eyes are a gray-blue. His are darker than Miriam's. Chris has hazel eyes, so while Levi Paul's eyes are still blue, they have a grayish color to them.

Naomi's blue eyes

Just like her sister, Naomi's eyes say so much about her. Just like her brother, she has the darker blue eyes, but not as much gray as Levi Paul has. When I am sitting with her and she's being quite, I can just stare into her eyes and it seems that we have this conversation just by looking at each other. 

As a mother, one of the best things ever is when your newborn child finally "connects" with you. It's through the eyes that this happens. It's when you're sitting there, holding them in your arms and you are just staring at them. Maybe they are getting a bottle or nursing, or you're just sitting there holding them..and then all of a sudden, they lock eyes with you. It's at that moment that time stops. Everything around you doesn't seem to matter-it's as if your ears shut off and you just take in that moment when those beautiful eyes look into yours as if to say "I know your my mommy. I know you love me and I know you will take care of me." That moment is a feeling I will never forget that happened with each of my blessings.

"The eyes are the window to the soul." -old proverb

I Like Books

I like books
I really do.

 

 Books with stories
And pictures, too.

 Books of birds
And things that grow.

 Books of people
We should know.

 Books of animals
And places, too.

I like books
I really do!

UCC

 This is the church we have been attending since getting here. I can't say that we are really involved in the church (for numerous reasons), but it's been a great church for us here in S. Korea. The church is on the 3rd floor of a building.

During the first part of the worship service, the kids stay with us. We sing several songs and the kids will sit and listen. Miriam sings the songs she knows, Levi Paul is either listening, drawing on paper or talking out loud. I usually hold Naomi and she bounces up and down and smiles at the people behind us. :-)  Then the kids head to children's church and we sing some more. We will sing all songs in English and some of the songs (especially the hymns), they alternate different verses singing them in English or Korean (as shown in the picture above). Whatever language is at the top, that is what is sung for that verse. I like that we can still know what is being sung since the other language is under the one being sung.

Let me say that my kids LOVE the children's church. They sing songs together and then go to their classrooms, being separated by age. Levi Paul has a hard time being separated from us if he can't sit near Miriam during their singing portion. That boy sure does love his sister and wants to sit by her, and of course she doesn't want him sitting by her because she wants her friends to sit by her. I am thankful for the children's program because each Sunday on the way home, Miriam and Levi Paul will tell us what they learned about. :-)

The pastor of the church is originally from Alabama. The sermons are spoken in English. During the times of prayer, it is spoken in English. When the announcements are made, if it is really important they will be done in Korean also. The majority of the people that have positions in the church (music, pastor/assistant pastor, children's ministry, etc) are all teachers and administrators at the local christian school, which was started after a chaplain in the Army asked for a school for dependent children. The church is connected to the school. The church reaches out to the community-the local Koreans, the soldiers and their families and to any other person that has come over to Korea for jobs. It is a great church!

Here is Naomi after church last week. It was the first week that she didn't cry when I dropped her off in the nursery. She still held on to me for dear life when I tried to hand her over, but she didn't cry! Of course she is all smiles when I get her.

Uijeongbu Community Church is where we are supposed to be in the season of our life (living in Korea in Uijeongbu). One of the neat things is that the girl I marched beside in marching band at Liberty University lives here and goes to the church (we lost contact after my semester on campus is 1998 and I had not clue she lived here and we have reconnected since moving here), a good number of the people in the church went to Liberty, another grew up near where Chris grew up in Virginia, an assistant pastor came here from Fairbanks, AK and knows our pastor and church back there and spoke highly it, which just made us smile, and we have met some other military families there. I am thankful for the chance to worship with others (Korean, Americans, Africans and others from other countries) for the short time while living here. The family of God is spread all around the world! It is great being with brothers and sisters in Christ while worshiping our Lord and Savior on Sundays!

Last week was our first time back after missing 2 Sundays with colds and sickness. We won't be going tomorrow with all the snow we are getting (no snow tires and Koreans don't really prepare for snow here), so we are sad, but hopefully we will be back next Sunday again to worship!